Death Warrant - It was over

Doesn´t matter, it was over.

Here´s the wired part, I was so set - so ready - that now it was over, I back in a cell on R-Wing sitting on my bunk.

I felt disappointed - let down. I´m not certain of all the whys, of this feeling. I guess it´s like when you enter into danger - or a thrilling situation. You get all pumped up - set in mind to do. The adrenaline flows.

Then, it does not happen, you loose that adrenaline high and it´s a let down.

That lasted about three hours. Then, the relief came. And I got back to living and life. But, what I had been through, what I had learned stayed with me. I was at peace inside. I started to appreciate each day. To open my mind to the world and people. I placed my first as for friends. To reach out people.

I was no longer afraid of what could happen as far as execution goes. I relaxed, and found things to fill my time and enjoy. I started to meet people through the mail, how much it added to my life.

I stopped getting into trouble. I was no longer confused - nor angry without reason.

Until then I was as wild as the place where I lived. When confronted by those in charge. I was as likely to tell them to fuck off, as not. I no longer felt that was necessary to do.