Friday, October 01, 2004

Death Warrant - a visit

During this period my mother came to stay at my brothers here in Florida. She and my sister-in-law would come up every 3 - 4 days to visit. You could visit every day then when on Death Watch. Behind a glass partician. She would come and I would put on that I´m fine face and cheer her up - laugh and joke with her.

Tell her not to worry - I would get a stay. So, we talked about life - not death. But, a funny thing occurred. By the 3 or 4th visit I wasn´t wearing that I´m ok mask anymore. I was ok.

And I relaxed and just enjoyed our time. Cherished them. Made sure she knew I loved her. Near the end I told her if it did occur - I was ready - prepared. And to remember me with a smile - not through sadness.

Of course you can´t make a loved one think - like that. But, you try to make it as easy as you can.

Back in my cell each day - I would stand up - watch the sunset - think about times of my life - things I enjoyed - what I´d miss.

Sometimes at the end of the 15 days I would just stand quietly and enjoy the colors of the sky as the sunset.

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